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20 Worst Foods in America, 2009

Posted by 104Inc.com on January 15, 2009

Can an appetizer with the caloric equivalent of 13 Krispy Kreme doughnuts be justified? No. The 2,710-calorie Awesome Blossom has been purged from Chili’s menu–maybe the fat-drenched appetizer couldn’t withstand the scrutiny of being named to the Eat This, Not That! list of the Worst Foods in America last year. No matter the reason, we applaud this waist-expanding starter’s retirement.

The deep-fried onion wasn’t the only thing to withdraw from last year’s race–more than 10 other items from 2008’s lineup have been removed from menus (or mysteriously had their calorie counts lowered). That’s a step in the right direction, and it’s good news for your waistline. 

The bad news? There are plenty of frightening foods still at large across the country. After another year of menu investigation, we’ve come up with this year’s list of the most calorie-laden, fat-riddled, sodium-swaddled, sugar-spiked dishes in America. Eat at your own risk.

Worst “Healthy” Sandwich
Blimpie Veggie Supreme (12″)
1,106 calories
56 g fat (33 g saturated fat)
2,831 mg sodium
96 g carbohydrates

Sure, a Veggie Supreme sandwich sounds healthy, but this foot-long comes with three different kinds of cheese, and it’s drenched in oil. After Blimpie gets done with this vegetarian nightmare, you’d be better off consuming two Big Macs than sitting down with this sandwich.

Don’t be fooled by “healthy” foods—replace these 14 imposters with delicious alternatives that satisfy without expanding your waistline.

Worst Kids’ Meal
Chili’s Pepper Pals Country-Fried Chicken Crispers with Ranch Dressing and Homestyle Fries
1,110 calories
82 g fat (15 g saturated)
1,980 mg sodium
56 g carbohydrates

Most kids, if given the choice, would live on chicken fingers for the duration of their adolescent lives. If those chicken fingers happened to come from Chili’s, it might be a shorter one. A moderately active 8-year-old boy should eat around 1,600 calories a day. This single meal plows through 75 percent of that allotment. So unless he plans to eat carrots and celery sticks for the rest of the day (and we know he doesn’t), find a healthier chicken alternative.

See our rankings of kids’ restaurants so you can help your children pick the best options every time.

Worst Dessert
Romano’s Macaroni Grill Dessert Ravioli
1,630 calories
74 g fat
33 g saturated fat
1,150 mg sodium
223 g carbohydrates

Would you eat a Quarter Pounder for dessert? How about four? That’s how many it takes to match the calorie-load of this decadent dish. It’s the quickest way to ruin what may have been a sensible dinner. (Then again, if dinner was at Macaroni Grill, chances are it was anything but sensible.)

Worst Burger
Chili’s Smokehouse Bacon Triple-The-Cheese Big Mouth Burger with Jalapeno Ranch Dressing
2,040 calories
150 g fat (53 g saturated)
110 g protein
4,900 mg sodium
 
You know this burger’s in trouble when it takes more than 20 syllables just to identify it. If you think the name’s a mouthful, just wait until the burger hits the table. You’ll be face-to-face with two-and-a-half days’ worth of fat—a full third of which is saturated. To do that much damage with roasted sirloin, you’d have to eat about eight 6-ounce steaks. (It’s nearly three days’ worth of saturated fat.)

Not all burgers are created equal. See if your favorite is a healthy indulgence or a grease slab on a bun.

Worst Starter
Uno Chicago Grill Pizza Skins (full order)
2,400 calories
155 g fat (50 g saturated)
3,600 mg sodium
 
This appetizer is like eating a Large Domino’s Hand-Tossed Sausage Pizza! Would you ever think of saying to a waiter: “Why don’t you start me off with a large meat pizza?” If you’re ordering for a party of more than five, it might be OK, but for smaller groups, it’s tilting toward gluttony gone wild. Order the Thai Vegetable Pot Stickers instead—the only item carrying fewer than 800 calories.

If you want to eat a little something before your meal, be sure to avoid the worst appetizers in America.

The Worst Food of 2009
Baskin Robbins Large Chocolate Oreo Shake
2,600 calories
135 g fat (59 g saturated fat, 2.5 g trans fats)
263 g sugars
1,700 mg sodium

We didn’t think anything could be worse than Baskin Robbins’ 2008 bombshell, the Heath Bar Shake. After all, it had more sugar (266 grams) than 20 bowls of Froot Loops, more calories (2,310) than 11 actual Heath Bars, and more ingredients (73) than you’ll find in most chemist labs. Rather than coming to their senses and removing it from the menu, they did themselves one worse and introduced this caloric catastrophe. It’s soiled with more than a day’s worth of calories and three days worth of saturated fat, and, worst of all, usually takes less than 10 minutes to sip through a straw.

For the complete list of the 20 Worst Foods in America 2009, check out these rankings and the best options to eat instead of the gut bombs!

Liquid calories add up quickly—especially if you’re sipping any of the 20 unhealthiest drinks in America.

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George, we’ve got just the job for you (Funny)!

Posted by 104Inc.com on November 5, 2008

He’s had a crack at being president – but a man of George W Bush’s talents will now surely be looking for his next big challenge. I have some ideas!

As of today, George W Bush has exactly 77 days left to put his resume in order, a difficult task complicated by the fact that whatever he’s done as president, he hasn’t done much of it lately. There aren’t many positions out there suited to a former world leader and professional lame duck, but a few high-profile vacancies have presented themselves in recent weeks, and more are bound to arise as the year draws to a close. There must be some job the man can do competently. He still has so much to give.

Leader, North Korea

It’s just possible that this position will open up soon – if it hasn’t already. Bush would no doubt enjoy the constant sabre-rattling that comes with being a key player in the axis of evil (though he should bear in mind they don’t call it that), but he might have trouble adjusting to the unstinting adulation.

Tour guide, presidential library

Yes, it’s a tradition in America to establish commemorative repositories in the home state of every former commander-in-chief, regardless of reading age or standing in the worst-presidents-of-all-time table. Since this particular library is liable to be little more than a collection of cowboy hats and signed baseballs, Bush should have no trouble showing people around. It would be highly irregular for him to walk up to the front desk and say, “Hello, my name is George Bush, this is my library, and I would like an application form,” but what are they gonna do? Say no?

Star, W: the Musical

This seemingly insane scenario is predicated on the twin suppositions that the Oliver Stone biopic will translate readily to the stage and that Bush can sing. But lots of unlikely films have been turned into musicals, and if Bush turns out to be tone deaf he can always rap his way through like Rex Harrison did in My Fair Lady. Still, it would be weird. A bit like getting Jerry Springer to star in Jerry Springer: The Opera. Actually, that isn’t such a bad idea either. Or maybe Bush could play Springer. Think of the protests.

Host, MTV Awards

There are two positions to be filled here – Russell Brand already looks doubtful for next year, and Lindsay Lohan has just been fired from hosting the MTV World Music Awards, a slightly less glamorous appointment which doesn’t require much more than the ability to read from an autocue in a hesitant and uncomprehending manner. He’s a shoo-in.

Interior minister, Iran

In the old days, the only qualification for the post was a fake degree from a made-up British institution – the previous incumbent, Ali Kordan, possessed a forged certificate for an honorary degree from “London Oxford University” – but Bush has two real degrees, a BA from Yale and an MBA from Harvard Business School (I know – he wears it lightly, doesn’t he?). In fact this may be the first time Bush has gone for a job for which he is supremely overqualified, but he still has some hearts and minds to win in Tehran.

Paris Hilton’s new best friend

This has never been considered a job for life, or even long-term employment, but Paris is currently in the market for someone who is “hot, who can keep up with me, and most of all, who is real, and won’t be a backstabber”. She’s also looking in London, unfortunately. But if he can do the accent well enough to fool Paris Hilton (and how hard will that be, do you think?), he might also be able to convince her that he is both hot and real. And he’s the former president of the United States of America, so it’s not as if she’ll recognise him.

Sarah Palin’s running mate, 2012

A Palin-Bush partnership could provide the Republicans with the ultimate “maverick-anti-maverick” ticket four years from now. The 22nd amendment constitution prevents a two-term president from seeking the office again, but does the US constitution say anything about him becoming vice president and then acceding to the office through the sudden incapacitation of a phenomenally unpopular president? Actually it does – the 12th amendment states that “no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States” – but does Sarah Palin know that? No. Is she going to read about it in the Times? No.

Biographer, George Bush Sr

A thorough trashing of his father’s legacy could one day see Dubya become widely regarded as only the second-worst president of the US, but he’ll need someone to check his spelling.

104politics.com

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